A grandparent’s role is a precious one. Most grandparents idolise their grandchildren and in return their grandchildren thrive from this special bond. Grandparents have a wealth of experience in bringing up children, they often have more time and patience than parents have, and can provide children with a sense of family history.
Prior to a separation grandparents may wear many hats, they are often entertainer, advisor, babysitter, taxi driver and financial supporter, however when couples separate many grandparents find their role suddenly changing and the precious time that they had always spent with the grandchildren can either stop or be reduced significantly. Testament to this, it is reported that in 2016 there were over 1 million grandchildren currently being denied contact with their grandparents.
It is all too common that grandparents can get caught in the middle during family separations. Loyalties can become challenged with feelings split between the parent, who is still their own child, and the former partner. This is a difficult balancing act as many grandparents are fearful of losing contact with their grandchildren altogether if they do not manage the situation well.
Unfortunately, in some separations battle lines are drawn and family members take separate sides. This is understandable as it’s human nature to ‘protect your cub’, but quite often this approach doesn’t help. During separations children often feel stuck in the middle and this is when grandparent’s support can be invaluable. Separation is a time when children will need a sense of normality, they will try to keep hold of all that they have known in the face of change and uncertainty. Guidance and support from grandparents can be a crucial factor in helping children cope with their parent’s separation, giving them someone who can be a trusted and neutral voice.
Having said this, it often comes as a surprise to many grandparents who seek advice that they don’t have the same automatic legal right to spend time with their grandchildren as parents have. This doesn’t mean that an application cannot be made to the court, it simply means that there are additional processes that will need to be followed to enable a grandparent to make an application.
Bearing this in mind here are some top tips to help grandparents to try to avoid potential problems:
Although an application to the court is a last resort, the valuable role that grandparents play is recognised. Generally, unless there is a good reason not to grant permission to make an application – such as a safety concern for the children – it is usually seen to be in the children’s best interest to maintain the relationship with their grandparents. Each case will however be decided on its own specific facts and a specialist family lawyer can advise upon such merits from the outset.
A grandparent’s role should never be underestimated and it’s important that the key adults work together to maintain this special relationship. Never forgetting that grandparents are the roots to our family tree – they keep us grounded, safe and stable whilst providing us with all we need to grow.