As I approach what would have been my 9th Wedding Anniversary, I reflect on the last 6 months and the monumental changes to my life.
My husband and I separated back in January, when England was in yet another lockdown. And there is no point in lying about it – it was really, heart wrenchingly difficult.
It would have been much more difficult without the support of my wonderful family, friends, and work colleagues. My neighbours became my support bubble as my parents do not live nearby and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them.
I have been on lots of great local walks, had long phone conversations and Facetimes, all of which have been my therapy. I have also listened to a lot of brilliant podcasts. Here are some of my favourites.
o The Scummy Mummies Podcast
o I’m Absolutely Fine! by The Midult
o Happy Place
One of the most surprising things to happen from all the mess is, that I am rediscovering who I am. What do I want to do? What do I want to eat? What do I want to watch? What do I want to become?
And once my 4yr old is in bed, I can decide all those things by myself. What a revelation!
And then, when my child visits his father, I have some time on my own. I’ll be honest, I hated this at first, because I didn’t know what to do. I had only been away from my child overnight 4 times since he was born. And I was full of all the emotions. Then I became worried that I wasn’t using the time effectively enough, so I would try to do too much. Which often resulted in burnout, just when my time alone would end.
Now, I think I am just about getting the balance right. I try and do as much of my work in this time as possible, because I love my job and the sense of purpose it gives me. I also try and do any jobs that are harder to do with a child in tow. Which means, when he returns, I have more of myself to give to him.
Daunting as this new future as a single mum is, I am also excited and lots of questions buzz around my brain. What adventures can we go on, as mother & child? What do I want my child to learn? What do I want to teach him? What do I hope to achieve in my career? Who will I meet? What places would I like to visit, just me? What new things would I like to learn?
And, as a romantic at heart, I do still believe in love. I am still really happy for the *“smug marrieds” and the newly engaged friends of mine, and I wish them all the happiness in the world. *Bridget Jones Diary reference
I am by no means looking for a new relationship myself at this time but instead, I am excited to see and spend more time with my friends and family.
Right now, I am also enjoying getting to know me.
*Guest Blog by our beautiful friend who wishes to remain anonymous.
You Go Girl!
If you are going through a divorce or separation and need legal advise, please feel free to submit an anonymous question to our Law Partners Raworths Family Law here.
