Suzanne and Chris had thought of fostering for some years but somehow never quite got round to it…
Suzanne explains ‘We didn’t have our own family, and my mum had suggested fostering some years back. She’s now no longer with us, but there came a point in our lives when it seemed like the time was right – so we took the first steps then.’
Suzanne and Chris, like many others, found the assessment process somewhat intrusive to begin with, but their social worker quickly put them at ease and helped them to feel comfortable, both with this and the Skills to Foster training which they both completed.
So, the day dawned when they were approved as foster carers and all ready for their first child to join them, when they were asked to foster not one but three children, two sisters and their brother aged between 12 and 5 – which was quite unexpected!
‘We had some introduction time, which was really positive and those visits really helped in terms of them settling in with us,’ says Suzanne. The two sisters, Kelly and Izzy had been with one foster family, and brother Ethan, in another. The plan had been to reunite the siblings together, in one foster home, timed to coincide with the start of the school summer holidays.
Lots of treats were planned and preparations made and the children all moved in to Suzanne and Chris’s home on the same day – suddenly their house was very full with their new family – and school was out for summer!
Luckily, Chris was able to take a couple of weeks off work, so the whole family enjoyed lots of day trips and activities together, though expectations had to be managed – the children had been used to each meet up with Chris and Suzanne involving a trip or a treat of some kind, which of course wasn’t possible every day of the week right through the summer…
Life wasn’t all about fun and holidays though, as much care and input was needed for the children, this ranged from medical and dentistry treatments, speech therapy, optical appointments and psychological support. Contact with the childrens’ birth mother was also established and maintained, throughout some difficult times.
Suzanne recalls, ‘There were lots of tears, on all sides, during those early times. We all had to get to know each other, and start to bond and grow as a family, and it was far from easy. Kindness just wasn’t enough to bring the children out of their protective shells and we found that hard.
We were trying so hard to reach them on an emotional level that sometimes it felt as though we were giving and giving but just not getting a response – which was more than frustrating!’
Fast forward four years and the story is so different…
‘There are dance classes for Ethan, who now is able to demonstrate his love of both music and performing, Kelly has just started at college following excellent exam results in the summer, and Izzy, who is selectively mute, now responds to us and joins our weekly movie nights’..
Suzanne goes on to add
‘We make sure we have some ‘me’ time each, but always also have a family holiday each year which is really important to us. Next year a trip abroad to Florida is planned around Kelly’s 17th birthday celebrations, which we’re all excited about!
‘Fostering is not without its challenges, and seldom a week goes by without one, but Chris and I work as a team and definitely complement each other.
I would say to anyone thinking of fostering that if you have the time, plus lots of patience, then give it a go – it’s the best thing I have ever done and I know Chris would agree. I love these kids to bits as if they were my own – and so do my family – they are much loved nieces and nephews to them and very much part of their extended family.
I would never turn the clock back now – we have three great kids and swapping the restaurant and bar on a Saturday for a movie night and fizzy drinks hasn’t been a hardship – so please, think hard about the difference it will make to your life – and theirs – by becoming a foster carer!
Fostering Siblings is an amazing way of keeping brothers and sisters together.
If you think you could you make a difference to the lives of local children we’d love to hear from you – we need foster carers for sibling groups right now – and there are also opportunities for other types of fostering, too.
We’ll make sure you have the right training and support to help you turn young lives like theirs around, plus of course there’ll be generous tax free payments and allowances for every night you foster. So start your fostering journey now www.northyorks.gov.uk/fostering
Or call 01609 534654 to speak to a member of the team
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